Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Best Laid Plans (or, finding the perfect in the not-so-perfect)

5:45- I hear Alfie stirring, so I go to feed her.  She generally eats around this time, I go back to bed to pretend to sleep for a few minutes, and then I get dressed and run.

5:50- A door slowly opens, just a crack, then swings open.  Little footsteps pound (not patter- pound) down the hall. The bambino is awake, speaking loudly. Alfie goes from eating in her sleep to wide awake.
5:57- I convince the bambino that it's still the middle of the night.  He reluctantly goes back to sleep. Alfie, however, is wide awake.  I give her a few toys, turn the light on for her, and retreat back to bed for ten minutes before my run.  She'll fall back asleep like always.

6:00- Baby girl is AWAKE. Like, laughing. I capitulate and go to her room.  Another door slowly opens, then swings wide, another set of footsteps down the hall. I accept that this morning will not be a run morning.  We spend the next hour hanging out as a happy trio- Alfie plays on the couch, gleefully grabbing her toes or a blanket.  The bambino sings to her, plays with his Legos, talks to me about his day.  It's good.

I am an optimist who complains a lot, so I think sometimes I sound like a pessimist.  Why do I complain?  No clue- to me, I'm just making conversation, but when I think about what's coming out of my mouth (which is rare, I admit), I see that I mention the negatives more than the positives.  Perhaps this is because the positives seem so obvious to me: of course I love my life!  It's awesome and full of love and happiness and steady jobs and family and running and doing what I love.  It's the aberrations that I notice, so these are the things I talk about.  I'll work on that.

Anyway, this morning was one of those mornings where I had a choice to make: not whether to run or not, because I was not about to leave two awake kids with a still-sleeping spouse.  That's just mean.  No, I had to decide whether to be really bummed about not running or to just go with it.  Thankfully, I chose to accept what I couldn't change and the morning turned out well.  I had extra kiddo time, they got extra Mama time, and I knew the run could wait.

The run waited until this evening, after dinner and after the kids went to sleep.  I ran at 7:15, outside, in the humidity and traffic.  No complaints, though; it was great.  I ran a new favorite loop in a nearby neighborhood, and it was the fastest I've run three miles since last August, and just one day after a mini-speed workout. (Yesterday I added in five 45-second pick-ups to my run).  If I had run this morning, I might not have had that experience, and I needed it.  It restored my confidence, and I didn't even know I needed that.  The average pace? 8:48 for 3.4 miles.  Nice to see you again, Mojo.

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